Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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