I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
