i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
