that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
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I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
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You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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