Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
