This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
