why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize