If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
