Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
