My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize