I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
