She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
