It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
