Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
