you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
