I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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