Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How does it feel to date your dad?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
