I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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