Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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