Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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