it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Houston, we have a blender
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
