dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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