omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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