i can't believe i had my finger in that
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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