I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
