i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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