had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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