well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
