Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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