and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
