Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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