are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
