Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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