There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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