I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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