dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Never underestimate the power of titties
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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