Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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