Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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