So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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