If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I understand Curling. That high.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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