Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
