Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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