It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize