I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize