You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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