billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
