she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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