The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
