I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
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on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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