He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize