we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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