Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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