thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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