I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
