I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
