I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
