Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
