You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
