Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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