take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
