hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
