i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
