Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry cookiemcgee hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(561): View more from Florida

Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.

Fav 4 1246 1110
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"

(1-410): View more from Maryland

How come I never meet celebrities?

Fav 7 3760 1123
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.

Fav 9 2333 1167
share tweet
(905): View more from Ontario

I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though

(289): View more from Ontario

Lolll I'll be sleeping

(905): View more from Ontario

I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.

Fav 2 2383 951
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?

Fav 2 1712 906
share tweet
(937): View more from Ohio

You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.

Fav 9 2721 1111
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.

Fav 3 1402 824
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude

Fav 2 1134 552
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter

Fav 0 21 48
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT