At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
